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AVEN actually hurting people.

LordGrep
LordGrep
Well a study I found shows that social rejection actually hurts. It's not a micro agression. It's actually painful, and bad for someones health.

http://science.sciencemag.org/content/302/5643/290.full

Perhaps AVEN should look harder at alternative moderation techniques?

What do you think of the study, and what if anything should AVEN do about it? (can you tell that I am going be quoting this study a lot in future)?
Redshirt_Jimcandybuddhist

Comments

  • User-43756e74
    User-43756e74
    Posts: 77
    I can’t see the full article as i’m not a member of that site. (It says members only) but yeah, rejection can hurt real bad.

    what AVEN could do is raise more awareness so people won’t feel shut out.
    I deactivated my account because i was unhappy with the way AVEN dealt with minorities within a group of asexuals wich led to people being shut out.I was also unhappy with the way Admods handled these issues.Being nonbinary and asexual on AVEN can be very tough.

    When you fight to be accepted and you don’t understand the essence of what it means to be Asexual and why you fight for acceptance then i guess they do have a long way to go. What Admods should do is to stop coddling people and start sending out a clear message that we are all a part of the same group.

    This is just my opinion on the matter. 
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    I was fine till I discovered AVEN, after about 5 months of being carefull to the point of treading on egg shells, I slipped up and got a warning. But by this time I was getting increasingly depressed. Once I had left my mental health and vibrancy returned.
    Like a fool I returned, changed my modus opporendi.
    But the depression returned with a vengence. And slipped up again and got another warning.
    That was enough of AVEN. But I had seen  @G0D link and joined here.
    Seriously, AVEN should come with a mental health warning, I'm a pretty stable person mentally who believes in the goodness of others. But the level of people being offended is ridiculous.
    I'm not going back, except when viewing a link provided.
    It is not the rejection,  but the coddling of one person over another. "Please someone in authority, act on my behalf and chastise this person who has another opinion"
    Redshirt_Jim
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Realistically there are MANY people who have had the same problem with their mental health and AVEN. I am deadly serious. AVEN really SHOULD do a study on what it is doing to peoples health. If micro aggression are being met with actual harm don't they think they should actually do a study?
    cavalier080854User-43756e74
  • User-43756e74
    User-43756e74
    Posts: 77
    @cavalier080854  I know..the coddling is just super annoying.They did that with me too because i suffer from a depression wich often lead to issues between me and others who ended up being the underdog, other issues were the constant bashing of my religion and gender identity...Problems weren’t solved but just placed under the carpet because it’s simply allowed.Instead I’ve had a bazillion sticky’s to make sure i didn’t hurt myself..why fix the issue if you can just keep on coddling the person.

    I don’t go to AVEN unless i need some info on account issues wich i can read without having to log in, if that’s not  the case i stay away. I haven’t touched my account ever since i left and i’m considering a deletion request. I agree AVEN should come with a mental health warning because i ended up with more damage then when i ever joined that site.

    I doubt people realise that a site can have a huge influence on your personal values/mental health.
    I’m sorry to hear you had to walk on eggshells and that they treated you like that.


    @LordGrep I know, sometimes I wonder if it’s just because people have zero knowledge on so many things, but in my opinion AVEN should only do one thing: Stick with what they are good at and leave other things to the experts. 
    cavalier080854
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    I just can't wait to get ASM going... I just hope that either ASM's rules and way of dealing with things either attract users or the surveys, and member follow ups etc gain enough notice that AVEN changes it's way of acting towards those it professes to represent. It is setting a standard of membership behaviour that is pretty much unachievable in the long term. 

    I just don't think that they get it at all. They are just as oblivious to the damage they are doing as I was oblivious to the rules. 

    Surely rules are supposed to be there to stop undesirable situations, but if the effect of the discipline is that the member leaves feeling rejected, and hurt, was it worth it?

    I know I sound like I am being overly dramatic, but I genuinely feel based on my experience, and also other peoples reports that AVEN has just justified to them selves that they are doing nothing wrong, as they are not banning anyone, there is no issue, but if the end result is that the person leaves because of feelings of rejection, or unfairness, then what does it matter how AVEN justifies it to it's self. Why is there a need to go off and vote on tings, there just has to be a better way to deal with things.
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    I think the time is coming where we have to hire a moderator to act as your lawyer, and represent you on AVEN. 
    cavalier080854Redshirt_Jim
  • JanusDarkFox
    JanusDarkFox
    Posts: 240
    Like any forum platform, it isn't a social platform but like any electronic social media information system, provides a platform to exchange words.  It is far from social like having genuine face-to-face conversations, making friends or conversing in most social communications.  Biggest of them all is Facebook.

    The AVEN moderation isn't social exclusionary, it's often small reasons a few get a disciplinary for, one or two bad words here or there targeted at another user or group maybe just it.  Anybody warned nudged or banned should read and interpret those with sensitivity in mind.  Often those that react badly to that often think differently or think they're being socially excluded, it isn't the case.  AVEN cannot make exceptions for mental health, people can fall foul even when their mind is ill.  Often I'm not able go get on line when very unwell.  I haven't seen a case where for example, a person with a paranoid psychosis rapidly becomes a person that breaks rules and gets away with it because of that illness anywhere on the internet and if such example exists, learns quickly to not be online during a mental breakdown.

    Expect anything to bite back on your backside, think differently on that small bit of content that got the action it had.  Any internet space is there to protect its regular users in usually as inclusionary as possible.  From experience of Critical Thought subreddits, there are policies that will outright ban for going against the core subject matter.

    with exceptions of course... Fucking incredible calling out a Gender Critical TERF Group that erased gender difference on birth genitalia, the got banned for having Male Privilege, holy shitstorm made my day a number of years ago :P 
    Redshirt_Jim
  • Toffington
    Toffington
    Posts: 742
    I got affected by AVEN's influence that forced me to step away from it for a while. I think its worse if youre a moderate, intellectual honest, or conservative. Its literally either vapid pointless circlejerking, or beating youre head against the wall. That is all it has to offer. Anyone using it for Asexuality don't stay for long. Whats left is lonely people, with mental issues or not. 

    From a mod's perspective, its a game of chess and shadow tactics. From a user's perspective it feels like youre in a maze of traps you cannot escape. 
    cavalier080854Redshirt_JimLordGrepBlinkycandybuddhist
  • User-43756e74
    User-43756e74
    Posts: 77 edited July 11
    ^^^^^^^

     As a moderate democratic christian i can safely say that they have plenty methods to drive you insane or near insanity and i can safely say that as from both a mod and a members perspective.

    AVEN is mostly infested with SJW who all believe all conservatives are evil and christians are evil and delusional beings serving a nonexistent God. It’s incredibly difficult and time consuming to deal with that hivemind culture.







    cavalier080854candybuddhist
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Hey there are plenty of us none SJW anti-theists out there.
    candybuddhist
  • User-43756e74
    User-43756e74
    Posts: 77
    LordGrep said:
    Hey there are plenty of us none SJW anti-theists out there.
    I know, I’ve spoken to a few who experienced the same issues on AVEN who were anti-theists or atheists but simply couldn’t cope because they were conservative or moderately conservative. 
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    I am a lefty, and I still cant cope <grin>. 
    User-43756e74
  • shit
    shit
    Posts: 174 edited July 11
    LordGrep said:
    Well a study I found shows that social rejection actually hurts. It's not a micro agression. It's actually painful, and bad for someones health.

    life sucks
    drop out 
    deltaX
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    @shit what are you saying ?
    Drop out of life .
    Die?
  • Gloomy
    Gloomy
    Posts: 262
    I’m an atheist libertarian, and still more careful about what I post on AVEN. There’s been a few times where I’ve been like “Shit I hope I don’t get in trouble for posting that lol”.
    User-43756e74
  • Blinky
    Blinky
    Posts: 9
    I got affected by AVEN's influence that forced me to step away from it for a while. I think its worse if youre a moderate, intellectual honest, or conservative. Its literally either vapid pointless circlejerking, or beating youre head against the wall. That is all it has to offer. Anyone using it for Asexuality don't stay for long. Whats left is lonely people, with mental issues or not. 

    From a mod's perspective, its a game of chess and shadow tactics. From a user's perspective it feels like youre in a maze of traps you cannot escape. 
    yep. They dont treat those groups well and prefer to make fun of them and be assholes to them but because we're on the wrong side it doesnt matter if it bothers us because their opinions are justified in the hivemind. i got tired of no one else being able to say anything and the neverending put downs.
  • User-43756e74
    User-43756e74
    Posts: 77
    Blinky said:
    I got affected by AVEN's influence that forced me to step away from it for a while. I think its worse if youre a moderate, intellectual honest, or conservative. Its literally either vapid pointless circlejerking, or beating youre head against the wall. That is all it has to offer. Anyone using it for Asexuality don't stay for long. Whats left is lonely people, with mental issues or not. 

    From a mod's perspective, its a game of chess and shadow tactics. From a user's perspective it feels like youre in a maze of traps you cannot escape. 
    yep. They dont treat those groups well and prefer to make fun of them and be assholes to them but because we're on the wrong side it doesnt matter if it bothers us because their opinions are justified in the hivemind. i got tired of no one else being able to say anything and the neverending put downs.
    I know. I’ve been an Admod for almost two years and trust me: Even as Staff you can’t speak out, let be as a member.It’s even worse if you’re ex staff. You simply can’t stay true to yourself in such a hivemind culture. Unless you want to end up banging your head against a wall while squealing in agony.
    Blinky
  • Trailblazer
    Trailblazer
    Posts: 11
    Yes, I'm done with AVEN. there are a load of nutjobs running riot through it using it for their own ends and I don't think it's done anything to further the ace cause. We deserve better.
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