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BDSM relationships.

LordGrep
LordGrep
I have recently had something of an introduction to this field, and I have to say I really really like it. I am not in any way interested in the sex, or any leather or rubber silliness, but the dom/sub relationship (the one I have wondered in to) is amazing. It is so up my street, there is so much trust involved, and the dynamic is really healthy. 

I have always found the tying someone up for sex part a bit cringe, and to be honest I used to really like feeling close to someone when making love with them, the idea of being tied up etc, or tying someone else up just never really interested me.

The power dynamic though, the idea of "fuck all the 'rules' " is something I love, there is a lot of responsibility in being dominant, also trying to keep someone happy with not a whole lot of feedback is still there, but at least there is an easy system for working out what is "fair". 

I think I might be able to pull off the whole being an asexual 'dom' thing. I really don't think I would enjoy being a 'sub' that's for sure. 

Hey ho,, Lets see how this goes. 

Comments

  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,177
    Don't forget the "safe" word between the dom and sub. Despite the terms, it is the sub who actually is in charge.
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Yeah.. I know it's the sub who has the last say. It is this dynamic that I actually really like. And I think safe words are the most important thing. 
  • Toffington
    Toffington
    Posts: 742
    I cannot do BDSM. XD I think its kinda weird. I do however, like certain dynamics that are very mild compared to BDSM. 
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,177
    I cannot do BDSM. XD I think its kinda weird. I do however, like certain dynamics that are very mild compared to BDSM. 
    A spanking, a spanking
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Damn. I don't understand the spanking thing. BUT then I am told that it's just not about spanking. I am glad about that, as I am just no into pain - giving or taking it.
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,177
    There goes the possibilty of School Disco going wrong. Bad Pupil
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    The disco Cav?

  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,177
    A music clubing scene where the paticipants dress in school uniforms and dsnce to 80/90s music.
    But you can put in the naughty pupil who must be disciplined. A bit like Bavarian lederhosen paddling.
  • Redshirt_Jim
    Redshirt_Jim
    Posts: 147
    @LordGrep  Let me tell you something. If you don't want it don't do it. Tell your partner/bitch/bastard/other bames NO means No. Unless they into non con roleplay. Yeah. Wierd. Don't do it to make your partner happy. Why? Cause if you're the dom you're sub will feel like failure. If you're the sub, then your dom will feel like failure. Do it because you want it and you got consent. That's it. No matter how silly ridicolous wierd creepy freaky what you want  is. 


    Look, my gender tells me I should be a sub. My mannerism tend to be more on the little girl sub. It'd be easier if I was a sub right? Yet, I still want to be a dom. 

    Cause to be a dom. Is too see your sub as them is unrestricetd. See what can bend them. Bend them just a little near sweet breaking point then stop. Afterwards they'll go stronger. You'll bend them over and over and over. It'd be beautiful. 

    And the amount of trust. God, it feels like you won the entire universe inside a person. That spectacular. 

    Moving on To Live Long and Prosper. 
  • candybuddhist
    candybuddhist
    Posts: 82
    are rape fantasies counted? <span>:neutral:</span> 

    i wanna take all the pain. just no fist. 
  • Redshirt_Jim
    Redshirt_Jim
    Posts: 147
    @candybuddhist, yes. But be careful tho. Non con is a delicate subject to handle.(I am very confused in that subject. So please don't ask me.)

    You might want to try one two ny taking classes or try yourself in a small amount. Don't worry if you don't like it. It doesn't change how wonderful you are as a person. 
    candybuddhist
  • Reptillian
    Reptillian
    Posts: 181
    I have to admit,  being dominated by a woman is a turn-on for me as a idea.  But,  just as a idea.
    candybuddhist
  • Gloomy
    Gloomy
    Posts: 262
    If I did relationships and was in a BDSM one, I could see myself being the dom since I'm a total sadist who would enjoy being in control(well, until my sub says our safe word).
  • Redshirt_Jim
    Redshirt_Jim
    Posts: 147
    Sorry, Gloomy. Dom is different from tops. If you're a sadist you are a top, but it doesn't mean you're in charge. Kinda like doing something in a mind control. Dom is the mind controller. Top is the doer.
  • Gloomy
    Gloomy
    Posts: 262
    Sorry, Gloomy. Dom is different from tops. If you're a sadist you are a top, but it doesn't mean you're in charge. Kinda like doing something in a mind control. Dom is the mind controller. Top is the doer.
    Can't I be both?  :o
  • Redshirt_Jim
    Redshirt_Jim
    Posts: 147
    Of course you can!
    Gloomycandybuddhist
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,177
    @Gloomy @Redshirt_Jim no you cannot. You will do as you are told by me. (Puts ball gag on, no safe word for either of you)
    GloomyRedshirt_Jim
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    I'm personally a bit aghast at those who insist that one "has" to be one thing or another, or act one way or another. 

    Relationships are all about individuals making up their own rules to be together BDSM seems to have much more on the table therefore to say that one should do this or that is YOUR preference, and not an accepted law.
    Gloomy
  • candybuddhist
    candybuddhist
    Posts: 82
    since this is bdsm. subs are usually told what they should do.

    subs wear stupid stuff, so are subs dumb? 

    ( i am sorry if i repeated the word subs)
  • Redshirt_Jim
    Redshirt_Jim
    Posts: 147
    Not really. Sub is the brightest one there is. Sub has to be stronger, wider and kinder than the dom. Because subs gives doms power. They are that generous. Giving doms all the credit. 
    candybuddhist
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Not really. Sub is the brightest one there is. Sub has to be stronger, wider and kinder than the dom. Because subs gives doms power. They are that generous. Giving doms all the credit. 
    You are joking right? The dom has to do things that the sub wants without knowing what that is, and it's about mutual giving, or it should be, otherwise it's just sanctioned abuse. 
  • candybuddhist
    candybuddhist
    Posts: 82
    are doms considered automatically as a daddy? 
  • Redshirt_Jim
    Redshirt_Jim
    Posts: 147
    LordGrep said:
    Not really. Sub is the brightest one there is. Sub has to be stronger, wider and kinder than the dom. Because subs gives doms power. They are that generous. Giving doms all the credit. 
    You are joking right? The dom has to do things that the sub wants without knowing what that is, and it's about mutual giving, or it should be, otherwise it's just sanctioned abuse. 
    If you're the dom, all you can think of is the sub. If you're the sub all you can thimk of is the dom. You love. Give. With the full knowledge the other will not give what you wanted. No expectations. Just give. That's it.

    are doms considered automatically as a daddy? 
    Oh no. There are lots of other doms. Daddy dom is one of the most difficult ones. Pike, my mentor is a daddy dom. Una is little girl sub. Well the correct ones would be Daddy Master and Little girl Slave. Doms and Master are different. Master owns the slave and command 24/7. He is responsible for the slaves well being completely. No free will.  My mentors are in Master and Slave relationship. That's not really my thing. I am Primal Predator. I enjoy the chase and hunt more than the owning part tbh. Also I like subs that backtalk me. I hate total compliance. 
  • candybuddhist
    candybuddhist
    Posts: 82
    LordGrep said:
    Not really. Sub is the brightest one there is. Sub has to be stronger, wider and kinder than the dom. Because subs gives doms power. They are that generous. Giving doms all the credit. 
    You are joking right? The dom has to do things that the sub wants without knowing what that is, and it's about mutual giving, or it should be, otherwise it's just sanctioned abuse. 
    If you're the dom, all you can think of is the sub. If you're the sub all you can thimk of is the dom. You love. Give. With the full knowledge the other will not give what you wanted. No expectations. Just give. That's it.

    are doms considered automatically as a daddy? 
    Oh no. There are lots of other doms. Daddy dom is one of the most difficult ones. Pike, my mentor is a daddy dom. Una is little girl sub. Well the correct ones would be Daddy Master and Little girl Slave. Doms and Master are different. Master owns the slave and command 24/7. He is responsible for the slaves well being completely. No free will.  My mentors are in Master and Slave relationship. That's not really my thing. I am Primal Predator. I enjoy the chase and hunt more than the owning part tbh. Also I like subs that backtalk me. I hate total compliance. 
    me as a sub

    FUCK YOU JIM!!! XD
    Redshirt_Jim
  • Redshirt_Jim
    Redshirt_Jim
    Posts: 147
    You are sooo adorable, Candy *Hugs*
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