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AS-NS Has upgraded and moved to a new name.... It;s the same people just all new software, and a new name. Please come and join us http://forum.asexual.me

You need to sign up a new... But it is SOOOO Worth it...

http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me http://forum.asexual.me



NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE - NOTICE





Dear AS-NS

LordGrep
LordGrep
edited July 1 in General
Comrades!

This letter was written before the events that led to the second ban in AS-NS history, and what I think is something of a shake up of the way AS-NS works, and is seen. That being said this is as valid now as it was before hand. 

AS-NS is 18 months old. In the last 18 months we have been though a lot together. We have had our ups and downs. I have definitely had some ups and downs. We have had wars with AVEN we have had people try and bring us down in every conceivable way, including having 90% of our heritage deleted by a fucking prick who couldn't keep people interested so thought he wouldn't just steal our users but fuck the place up. (I am not bitter honest).

In the last few weeks I have talked about throwing in the towel, I have had to deal with the most shitty lies, and back stabbing, and I have had to read many things about me that made me feel physically sick. 

Things though started to turn round. The long lasting feud with [Can't Unfortunately Name Today]. ended (so I feel a bit bad using that place holder, i'm sure they will see the funny side). Yup I feel vindicated. Sure there are others that really should own up, and lay to bed the shitty things attributed to me. Ultimately though I feel that regardless of opinions people are stupid enough to continue to hold my reputation in publish fact has been restored. 

The support of you guys has meant so much to me. You have done the right amount of welcoming back, and the right amount of prying into my health. I know I am not the best leader in the world, and I don't try to pretend otherwise. But today I feel refreshed. I feel like we have an opportunity to move forward, and make a success of AS-NS. 

Sure it's going to be a lot of work, and I am sure the crap will continue to roll in, but I have the strength, ability, and motivation to make this place a great place. 

I have some long term plans that I am always talking to people about, and they are coming to fruition, but the biggest change in AS-NS history is ahead, and hopefully very close. 

The name change for me has been an issue. I like the fact AS-NS is obscure, and more like a secret society than a commercial website. But what we need more than anything is members, and not being found is a hindrance. Also in this day and age a site has to have a pretty name or it won't get anywhere. We already have the name and the hosting setup Asexual.me will be our new home. 

The most exciting thing though is that as you probably know is that I have found a way to use the same back end as AVEN. I am not excited because I want to be like AVEN god no. I will do all I can to make us stand out. I am excited because it is a really neat, clean, usable, and friendly user experience that lends it's self to a professional look, and will I am sure lead to us being taken more seriously on the world stage. 

My plans are not to try and compete with AVEN, as I have said many times before I am happy they are there, and it serves a need. There are though issues with AVENs representation of asexual people. I really feel there is a desire out there for an alternative, and I strongly believe our mentality and ethos has the chance of success. 

There are still many things we as a community need to work out. We really need to figure out a way of dealing with disruptive people in a fair, and fast manner. There is one thing I know about that, and it's that AVENs way is not the right way. We need to keep more members than we throw away. 

Running this site really reminds me of running a pub. I just replace drunk people with angry, and bonkers people. Oh and drunk angry bonkers people. You can't ban everyone who is disruptive, you cant kick everyone who is rowdy out, and you really don't want to kick people out who are having fun. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. You can't force people to get along, but you can leave people alone and trust that they will just deal with things without calling the police. 

I have a vision for where I want us to be in the next 18 months, and I hope I get to share it with all of you.

I do need some help. I have no income. I am disabled. I get about enough to eat. In the winter not enough to eat. I cannot afford to pay for the upgrades. This place has survived as long as it has because we have a benefactor, but I can't ask them to foot the bill all the time. I don't want to ask them, and I would rather they didn't put up any money this time.

I would like though not to just ask for your money. I want to give something back, so I am going to dish out some incentives, something like a kick starter. I can't sell of influence or moderation spots, as that would go against the way this place works. This place will always be 1 member 1 vote. I will always just be the guardian. Those who contribute will always be guardians too. 

I can though offer some fun things.... As you know AVEN you will know what I mean... 

£1 ($1)+ You will get a thank you from me, and my eternal thanks, and a mention forever in the site credits. 

£25 ($33) + You get your name on the founder page, and a founder privilege. You will get a status in the same place as "Moderator" on AVEN, and the right to a signature saying such. You will also get access to a secret place on the forum where there will be a steering comity.

£50 ($66)+ You will get an embroidered t-shirt with the site logo. (or any item of clothing you can get to me, I can embroider, I have the technology) and the stuff above.

£100 ($132)+ I will mark your location on a map and pray towards you daily. I will hand engrave our logo onto anything you like I have some huge 1L wine glasses. ( I can engrave stuff too ) plus everything above. 

£200 ($264)+ I will do any dare you ask of me. Disbelieve you. I'll work out something for you specially. I know I can make some cool stuff... and all the stuff above. 

£500 ($791)+ I will fall off my chair. Build you a decent computer, and customise is with the asexual.me logo ( I have a load of pretty decent computer gear ), or I will take requests. Anything you want. Plus all the stuff above.

£1000 ($1320)+ Errmmm that's just silly. I'll name my next child after you. I'll teach cat to jump up and down at the mention of your name. I'll snog cav... i'll tell you how to do my best magic trick, weep, and ALL the stuff above. 


That's about the best I can think of right now. I need for the basic package £200 ($265) and then £60 ($80)a year for the software. The hosting costs me £20 ($27) a month. 

If we raise more than £300 ($396), I will get an add on that costs £100 ($132)few add ons.

If we raise more than £450  ($595) I will get everything I think we will need.

If we raise more than $600 ($793) I will get something cool for everyone who chipped in, and engrave them all with the date, the logo, and FOUNDER...

If we raise more than £1000 ($1320) I will find something that you all like and do that. I'll pay for the site advertised on google, and some other places.

I really don't expect any of you to give anything, and I am not expecting to get all I need. I will sell a few things to get it going. 

IF YOU WANT TO DONATE PLEASE CONTACT LordGrep DO NOT USE THE DONATE BUTTON.

Realistically it's going to take me about 2 weeks to a month to get things up and running after I get my paws on the funds. I imagine there will be about 500hrs work in having the whole thing up, running settled debugged, etc. I will make all the things I promised before Christmas. 

I know funding won't be such an issue when we are larger. At the moment though I really need your help. Please don't give any more than you can afford, and please please don't expect any more influence than is fair. Integrity is so important to me, and my vision. I don't want lead anyone on in any way. 

If you do decide to help us out I can't thank you enough. I hope you will always be proud to have helped create something worth while.

If there is any other skill you have that you think might be helpful, PLEASE let me know. I really need wordy types, and people who can project manage. 

AceTimes still needs writers (I haven't forgotten about that). I'd love to host some interesting blogs. 

Thank you so much for your time... 

Your Grep!

PS: (NEXT POST)

Comments

  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    That letter was written before the latest kerfuffle, and I was intending to post it on Saturday. Other things took president. So I would like to add to the letter in response to the past few days.

    AS-NS is just a site. But it is has the possibility to be so much more than it is. For it to grow it needs more than money, or members, it needs people like you to participate.

    I know many people don't feel they want to say anything unless they disagree, or feel they have something to add. I think this is wrong though. What we need ESPECIALLY in the posts about the site is feedback. Not just "I disagree", or ideas for change, it's support. Even if it is just clicking on a like reaction button. 

    Imagine being in my position. I am trying to decide things that effect everyone. I am not doing any of this for my own gain. I am doing it because I want to create a place to chat but more importantly a place, and a system that is representative of, and is fair to, our members. 

    I am not trying to win a popularity contest, and I don't need to know how well I am doing, but I would really like to know that people support the direction I am taking or not. 

    I am not infallible, I fuck up all the time. I really wish that people could forgive my mistakes a bit easier, and just point things out rather than seeing them as some sort of personality flaw, just accept I fuck up from time to time, help me out by laughing at them. I really want this place to work, and I really want to make a difference. I have had to change the way I do things, and communicate everywhere because like it or not ( and I don't ) My words and actions represent this place. The one thing I really need to learn fast is that I can't just fuck about and expect people to disassociate my actions with the way people view AS-NS. This is something I intend to do something about. Once Asexual.me gets up and running, I am going to take a far less visible part in debates, and discussions about things that do not concern the running of the site. I need to avoid situations that could reflect badly on the site, and I also want to avoid taking positions on debates on sites like AVEN as people will assume that my opinion is that of the sites. I might just adopt another identity so I can satisfy my desire to debate things without my opinions being associated with this place. 

    I believe we are living through an interesting time in the history of this site. It has had many ups and downs, and upheavals, but I really believe that a name change, and the software change will do us the world of good. I think the fact that AVEN has left us alone some what, and the allegations that hung over me for so long have finally been seen for what they always were. 

    This is the time when the stars have aligned, and the principles we believe in have matured that I honestly believe we can grow as-ns into the future of the asexual moment. 

    We are in such a fortunate position. We have an ethos, we have a way of looking at the world that is far more compassionate than our competition, and we are able to adapt how we operate to try and create an online society that is vibrant, fun, fair, and representative. If we can fund this ourselves then we wont need handouts from organisations that will want to influence how we think or speak, and it will be our choice if we want to be part of the LGBT etc. Who knows we might even be able to come up with a workable definition of asexuality that we can all agree on (no ok I am going too far now). 

    You might just come here every now and then, and not really contribute much, and that's fine, but I really want to say that YOUR ideas, and the way you want things to be are VERY important, and the next few months are an opportunity for you to make a mark on something that has the potential to be really ground breaking. 

    I know It sounds like I am exaggerating but I am very serious. I was there at the start of the protest movement in the UK. There was only about 10 of us. 5 years later we had laws introduced directly to try and stop what we were doing, and a Labour party that promised if elected that they would halt road building. They won, and because of the shit we started we stopped new roads being built in the UK for the next 10 years, and also showed how anyone could go about stopping their local place of beauty being turned into a road. 

    We don't want to protest anything, well not yet. My ambition is to start an organisation that represents asexual people regardless of their opinions and politics. I want to provide a space where all asexuals can talk, express themselves, get and receive advice, and debate one another without feeling like they are walking on eggshells, or that they are not wanted just because of their politics, their age, or any reason is not inline with the management. 

    I'd like to see a minimal mod team, with a minimalist management team, but an active, team of those who are interested in keeping things new and fresh, and looking for solutions, and ways to make things bigger, better, or more fun. 

    So lets work together, and do what we can to make this happen. Lets take this opportunity to put put heads together, forget the things that make us different, and create something that we can look back on in 5 years time, and say "I helped make that happen". 

    Thanks for your attention. Thanks for reading all that. And thank you in advance for your input, and help. 

    2018 the year that AS-NS turned into asexual.me

    LordGrep. 

    Toffington
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    A final quick note:

    If you want to donate PLEASE contact me directly and I will give you my paypal address.

    ALL donations will be accounted for PUBLICLY. There will be a spreadsheet that will be publicly available where we will keep records of our spending, and donations, so you can not only see your donation has been received, you can see how we are spending the money.

    Any donations will be treated as the property of the site, and will ONLY be used to benefit AS-NS or asexual.me None of it will be used to lubricate the Grep. 

    I will, as soon as I can, setup a separate AS-NS paypal address, and bank account.

    If you want to lubricate your Grep, then feel free to donate to that cause, but right now I would rather see the beans go towards the site. 

    PLEASE let me know if you do not want your name to be visible on our public accounts. I am happy to use any name you wish.

    Thanks again people.. 

    RustyGrep. 
    Toffington
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Come on! Can you reply one at a time, it;s hard to keep up.
    candybuddhist
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    Glad of the anonymity option. Aces are not know for standing out from the crowd.
    But it is good that Asexual.me is going ahead.
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Im starting to use ASM as it's initials. 

    Donations to date £0 (let me get the USD for that) oh $0 I was hoping it would be more, it was every other time. 
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    I have more good news. It looks like it will be possible to run a couple of site versions that users can chose from so those that want a clasic AVEN theme can keep it that way, and others (like most of us) can use a dark theme (of cause based on AS-NS colours). 
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    Wait till mid month, I'll donate something when I get paid (mid month!)
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Thank you @cavalier080854 thank you thank you thank you. 
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    Don't fawn, Cat can do that for you. It will not be much, but better than nothing.
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    I am planning to have a section on ASM for the old school. All the AS-NS members that have been active on AS-NS before we move will get their own special badges, and hidden forum. I think it's good to remember our routes, and the people that helped make the whole thing possible. 
    cavalier080854User-43756e74
  • Toffington
    Toffington
    Posts: 742
    I don't have much to add, sorry ^_^;

    It looks grwat, and a long time coming. 
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Another feature I really want to be able to have on the forum is the ability for people to write blogs. I really like the idea of being a place where people can share their life experiences, and there are some truly amazing writers in our ranks. I really hope we can get past the image we got of being a place of hate etc, and become known as a hub for the community.

    One feature I think we should invest time in, is an Q&A section. I dislike the way AVEN goes about this, ad the answers, and advice are so diverse, and every time I have spent any time on the section it seems like a free for all. I really think that people need decent answers from people who know their subject, and can also point people in the direction of the right help. I don't think we should shy away from saying "No that really doesn't fit in with what most people mean by asexual". 
    SeaLemonGloomycandybuddhistRuruBlinky
  • User-43756e74
    User-43756e74
    Posts: 77
    I don’t have much to add either
     It all looks good to me : ) 

  • SeaLemon
    SeaLemon
    Posts: 76
    I've got no suggestions to add, your plans all sound good to me :) I really like the Q&A idea in particular (if you want any help with that, feel free to give me a shout)
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    On the Q&A front, how about Ask an Older Asexual. This is where the youngsters can get a more mature answer outside the usual echo chamber. But the answer may cause offence, older people usually are more robust in mentality.
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    The way it is coming together in my head is that there is lets say three Q&A channels. One of them is normal Q&A, and is the "express line", the second queue is the "Get a real answer" line, and is staffed by people who actually know there shit, and will point people to the resources they need to answer the question, as well as give decent answers.

    If we have the people then it would be so ASM to have a third line "Ask a silly question".... Where people can ask what they like and the answers will be abrupt, and humours. 

    I really think that people who are coming to get answers get the best quality answer we can give them. It is after all their first introduction to the site, and while we defo don't want to give impersonal AVEN "This communication was written without emotion and in language you expect from a court"answers. Things need to be friendly but ACCURATE, and NOT contradictory. We are supposed to be helping people not teaching them about all the infighting, or WORSE of all answers that just push the party line, or say "Asexuality is anything you want it to be".

    I want things to be fresh, accurate, and fun. and not afraid of saying "That is normal, and many people of your age feel that way" etc etc etc. It shouldn't be that hard to do, as there are actually very few different and novel questions, so coming up with templates would be a breese, and then it is up to each "expert" how they deliver it, but the emphasis is on a human personal touch but with lots of links, and resources. So they can explore things at their own pace, and more than anything feel welcome, and that we are trust worthy. 

    I can't imagine what it must be like to be that mixed up you go and ask a question on THE asexual site, and after you picked up that courage, and put yourself out their the answer to the question you have been sweating about for days is given my someone with an agenda and a message, and then someone else disagrees with it on the very next line, then a moderator steps in and shits on both the people while actually giving no answer at all.. I have seen it happen MANY times. It's just not what someone wants when they asked. So We will have a go at doing it better. 
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Just thought I would let you know that we have our first donation of £25 I would say who gave it, but so far they haven't responded to my message... 

    A massive thank you though... We are on the way to getting the beans we need.
    candybuddhist
  • candybuddhist
    candybuddhist
    Posts: 82

    That plan for the site will look good. I really like the blogging part. 


    uhm.. i  dont have credit card :( i am unable to send money. 

    i am willing to pay 50 pesos
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686 edited July 14
    The donations so far:

    SeaLemon - £25
    Toffington - £25

    THANK YOU SOooooOOOooOooOOoooo Much.... 
    SeaLemoncandybuddhist
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    We have had a very decent donation from someone who wants to remain anonymous, and after putting in my own money I have just enough to get the basic package. It will have all the functionality of AVEN, but not the blogging feature, that is something that I will add as soon as I get some more beans, or more beans come in. 

    I have already started work on getting things up and running. 

    I will shout when I need people to help, but I want to put you all on notice WE ARE GOOOO... 

    It's going to take a while for this to be right, so bare with me please. 

    I REALLY need help with writing stuff, designing stuff, and various bits and bobs. PLEASE help me with this, Please can we come together to help make this place amazing. 

    As soon as I can I will setup the new site in it's basic form, and invite those who have expressed a desire to help over to it so that we can get things going. 

    I am looking for people who genuinely want to help out, and give constructive input, not just people who will say "Sure I can help out",  and then just expect someone else to do everything.

    I REALLY need a small team right now to help put the pages together for the site, ideally I would love a designer to be on board too... 
  • User-43756e74
    User-43756e74
    Posts: 77
    Stupid question but have you thought about making a Safe space ish forum where we can vent avout life issues? I had haven on AVEN and i miss being able to use that forum. Can we also have such a thing?


    I would love to help out but i have zero Skills and i’m definetly not Staff material.
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Yeah... I am sure a "haven" would be a great feature. The one thing we need to do is build things slowly, and grow as we get more users.. While the site is small we need to keep the discussions in easy to reach places so that it's not a chore to find things, equally we don't want too much confinement. 

    My plan is to start out with something small, and compact, and then expand it as we get ideas. We WILL be introducing "Clubs", so you can run your own secret space if you want, and invite who you want. 
  • Tercy
    Tercy
    Posts: 47 edited July 14
    Just to throw this into the mix: There was some discussion about how IPS can be a bit of a performance hog. Might be something to look into / think about.
  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    Well it's not really an issue at the moment as I am just hosting out on the cloud. I have a long term plan of action to help us grow as we need to... 
  • User-43756e74
    User-43756e74
    Posts: 77
    @LordGrep sounds good, however: I’m not a huge fan of clubs because this allows people to bully and shut others out It might also become a hotbed for cliques wich we don’t want to happen in this community. I prefer forums only over clubs.

  • LordGrep
    LordGrep
    Posts: 2,686
    The thing is that I want to offer the service, and no one has to join anything. 

    I really trust our users not to abuse things, and break the rules. I want to see how they go, and take it from there. There is nothing wrong with users creating their own spaces to chat with friends. I have seen those accusations of bullying and the like before, and the assumption that the only reason people want a space to talk privately is to bitch about other people, it's just not the case, and I don't feel the need to police everyone all the time. ASM like AS-NS is more about trusting each other not to be dicks, rather than spelling it out.  People who take the piss will be dealt with, but if groups of like-minded people want to discuss things between themselves I am happy to support it. 
  • Tercy
    Tercy
    Posts: 47
    I'm not necessarily for or against clubs/groups, but maybe there's a cautionary tale in Acebook's groups feature. There's a danger that if given the opportunity, people will separate off into their own enclaves and not participate in the main forums. The impact may not be so bad if it's introduced at a later date, when there's already an established membership.
    Redshirt_Jim
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