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Madonna-Whore Complex

Pramana
Pramana
Anyone else think that a Madonna-whore complex is relevant to their sexual disinterest? I found a paper that suggests a link:

"Whereas the participants in Haefner’s (2011) study reported that they (a) separated love from sex and (b) described how they can love a partner without desiring sex, some of the participants in our study went even further. They indicated that for them, love and sex are incompatible; having sex while in a relationship diminished their feelings for their partner. One possible interpretation can be found in the old concept of the Madonna-whore complex, coined by Freud (1912), who used this term to indicate the inability of some men to experience sexual arousal within a loving relationship. For these men, the woman they love cannot be desired, and the woman they desire cannot be loved (Freud, 1912). It seems that for some of the participants in our sample, the first part of this statement is applicable and might be an alternative hypothesis about the development and nature of asexuality. It may be relevant for future asexuality research to explore how frequently this incompatibility of love and sex is found in the asexual population."

Ellen Van Houdenhove, Luk Gijs, Guy T’Sjoen, and Paul Enzlin, “Stories About Asexuality: A Qualitative Study on Asexual Women,” Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy 41, no. 3 (2015): 277.

alpha_decay

Comments

  • AussieAce
    AussieAce
    Posts: 642
    Strike a pose
    Vogue Vogue Vogue 

    Come on, vogue
    Let your body move to the music 
    Hey, hey, hey
    Come on, vogue
    PiFalpha_decaycavalier080854RoardovaLordGrep
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    Really Pram, 2 studies 99 years apart, this time about the usual paradox in everything, this time woman. What else is new in the philosophy world.
    Recycling at its worse. They have been doing this for millennia about this particular paradox.
  • Pramana
    Pramana
    Posts: 1,086
    @cavalier080854 I don't think I can be romantically and sexually attracted to the same person at once. Therefore, it was exciting to discover this reference.
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    The two are usually intricately mixed together. Few can separate the two, usually one becomes before the other, the order is not fixed.
    As Asexuals this may be difficult for us, but we are hardly the norm in affairs of the heart and body.
  • Rolo
    Rolo
    Posts: 332
    Seems like a result of subconscious anti-sexuality getting in the way of a healthy relationship. They perceive sexual desire as demeaning or sex as sinful and so can't bare to associate it with their loved one...  that's one for the sex  and relationship therapists to tackle. Not sure what it has to do with asexuality though, since it sounds like they can still feel sexual desire for people they're not in love with.
  • Pramana
    Pramana
    Posts: 1,086
    Rolo said:
    Seems like a result of subconscious anti-sexuality getting in the way of a healthy relationship. They perceive sexual desire as demeaning or sex as sinful and so can't bare to associate it with their loved one...  that's one for the sex  and relationship therapists to tackle. Not sure what it has to do with asexuality though, since it sounds like they can still feel sexual desire for people they're not in love with.
    The other half of the situation is that if you also dislike the notion of casual sex, then your list of potential sexual partners is zero.
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    Pramana said:
    Rolo said:
    Seems like a result of subconscious anti-sexuality getting in the way of a healthy relationship. They perceive sexual desire as demeaning or sex as sinful and so can't bare to associate it with their loved one...  that's one for the sex  and relationship therapists to tackle. Not sure what it has to do with asexuality though, since it sounds like they can still feel sexual desire for people they're not in love with.
    The other half of the situation is that if you also dislike the notion of casual sex, then your list of potential sexual partners is zero.
    Sorry, the list is 1 or you choose chastity.
  • AussieAce
    AussieAce
    Posts: 642
    i feel like if youre a whore you should be proud..its a hard job. 

    see what i did there LOL
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    AussieAce said:
    i feel like if youre a whore you should be proud..its a hard job. 

    see what i did there LOL
    I do not condemn or condone prostitution. But it does affect the person, whether male or female, few leave the profession unscathed.
    The so called sluts (uni students clearly have never met one) are just very sex positive, but are just like every other woman with the same hopes and desires.
  • AussieAce
    AussieAce
    Posts: 642
    well if thats your job you probably get raped a lot. 
    which is horrific. 

    sometimes life takes you places you didnt think youd go.


    i grew up thinking id of killed myself by 18...i had no life plan atall because i was so sure. now im 19.
    you just sorta end up doing shit sometimes...
    its not like many people plan on getting into porn and sex work in general...im sure most of the time it just sorta happens. 

    i didnt think id be a life guard it sorta just happened cause one day i helped some touros that were drowning and the next thing you know im shaking hands and signing papers and got on the blue and navy and im paddling out for more touros 
  • PiF
    PiF
    Posts: 644 edited February 18
    There is the other option. Some young men seem incapable when they leave home so seek a mum replacement which for most would see no sexual inclination at all.
  • Pramana
    Pramana
    Posts: 1,086
    I guess people can synthesize love and lust, although to me that would seem to require a great deal of cognitive dissonance.
  • cavalier080854
    cavalier080854
    Posts: 2,175
    It seems most philosophical discussions are about paradoxes.
  • AussieAce
    AussieAce
    Posts: 642
    PiF said:
    There is the other option. Some young men seem incapable when they leave home so seek a mum replacement which for most would see no sexual inclination at all.
    Young women often seek older men to help them. I don't have a dad and I've had thoughts about getting with older men for that fatherly relationship. Its all just really wrong. 
  • PiF
    PiF
    Posts: 644
    Ahhh your mentioning the sugar daddy route, the male getting an older women tends to be a mummy replacement. I.e. my mum sorts out my life, I can't do it myself so need a new mum 
  • AussieAce
    AussieAce
    Posts: 642 edited February 19
    PiF said:
    Ahhh your mentioning the sugar daddy route, the male getting an older women tends to be a mummy replacement. I.e. my mum sorts out my life, I can't do it myself so need a new mum 
    i want a guy who will take me fishing...i never had a dad to take me. i went with my grandpa but he is way to old and sick to take me. 
    i want a dad who will clap when i win awards...i dont have that. 
    i wish there was a guy in my life who was a good father figure..i cut the grass and take out the bins for my mother because my brother who is older wont do it. i had to become the man of the house and im a girl. i dont want a sugar daddy i want a dad. my dad beat me and yelled at me...i wanted a nice dad. 

    meh im just sad about it, but you cant change the past im not Marty McFly 
  • Roardova
    Roardova
    Posts: 35
    This is a very confusing topic.  Cause my husband & I can have conversations; which are things I consider romantic with topics that aren't about us, sex or romance in general.  That appeases me to great lengths.  Then turn right around & do very unsavory things to each other.  It has gotten so bad that this weekend over in Atlanta, I saw a lot of couples doing a lot of things & I could picture me & Ricardo doing the same things.  Arousal.  I can't do anything about it at times.
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